Death Blow

EXT. SCARY BUILDING

Three teens stand outside a common, yet slightly ominous
building.

CHASTITY
Are we really going in there?

STACY
Yeah.  Why not?

CHASTITY
I dunno, I just have a bad feeling
about this.

ALEX
Oh c'mon.  What's the worst that
could happen.  This building's been
empty for years.

CHASTITY
Exactly.  What if there are-

STACY
Ghosts? (pause) In what sort of
sadistic world would a bunch of
teenagers, just looking for a good
time, ever all be brutally murdered
in extraordinarily gory ways by a
bunch of evil spirits.

CHASTITY
I guess you're right.

STACY
Of course I am. Let's go.

The group slowly walks towards the entrance, spirits
uplifted by Stacy's rationalization of reality.

INT. SCARY BUILDING

ENTRANCE

The small group slowly enters the abandoned building.  Alex
pulls out a flashlight, surveying the dark interior.  As the
three teens make further into the dark room, the door
suddenly slams shut behind them with a crash, thrusting them
into darkness.

ALEX
(turning on his flashlight)
Did you shut the door? (looking at
Stacy)  Did you shut the door?
(looking at Chastity)  Well I
didn't shut the door. It must have
been the wind.

Chastity moves over to the door, trying, in vain, to open it
back up.

CHASTITY
It won't open.

ALEX
A very strong wind.

STACY
Well... In wake of this
supernatural occurrence that
provides substantial evidence that
we could all be brutally murdered
in extraordinarily gory ways, we
obviously can't get out this way,
so I guess we should explore the
creepy building further.

CHASTITY
I guess so.

INT. SCARY BUILDING

HALLWAY

The three teens are seen walking down a long hallway.  Alex
and Stacy are talking, but Chastity is not paying
attention.  She looks back down the dark hallway, suddenly
stopping as a small light appears behind them. 

CHASTITY
(whispering to herself)
That's curious.  I should go check
it out without telling my friends. 
Otherwise they would not continue
walking away completely oblivious
of my disappearance.  That should
dramatically increase the chance I
have of being murdered in an
extraordinarily gory way.

As Chastity slowly walks back towards the mysterious light,
Alex and Stacy continue on, completely oblivious of their
friend's disappearance.

INT. SCARY BUILDING

A FEW MINUTES LATER

Alex and Stacy continue on through the building.  Eerily,
Alex's flashlight keeps flickering.

ALEX
What is wrong with this thing?!

STACY
Paranormal activities perhaps?

ALEX
Oh c'mon Stacy.  There are no such
things as ghosts.

At the moment Alex's flashlight cuts off completely,
plunging the two into darkness, a creepy apparition staring
at them with frightening intensity. 

The light comes back on and the apparition disappears. 
Stacy glances behind them, a frown creasing her face.

STACY
Where's Chastity?

ALEX
I don't know.  She must have
wandered off, leaving us completely
oblivious to her disappearance.

STACY
I guess we should go and find her.

ALEX
We should split up, so we can cover
more ground.

STACY
Right, 'cause we can't know for
sure if Chastity was murdered or
not.  So it makes perfect sense to
further separate ourselves from the
limited safety of each other's
presence, thus dramatically
increasing our own chances of being
murdered in extraordinarily gory
ways.  I don't have a flashlight,
though.

ALEX
Oh, right.  Well I guess- Hey look!
There's one right over there!

STACY
How convenient.

Alex walks over to one corner of the room, toward the
camera.  Bending down, he begins rummaging around an unseen
pile of bones.

ALEX
Hold on.  It's stuck in the grasp
of this teenage-sized skeleton.

With a small pop, the flashlight is free.  A smile on his
face, Alex hands it over to Stacy.  The two then split up,
each going down a separate hallway.

INT. SCARY BUILDING

OUTSIDE THE GHOST'S LAIR

Chastity continues down the hall, stopping in front one door
in particular, the mysterious light shining briefly through
the crack at the bottom, then going out.

Chastity slowly opens the door, entering the dark room.

GHOST'S LAIR

As Chastity slowly makes her way further into the small
room.  Seeing nothing she begins to turn away, when
torchlight suddenly springs into existence. Quickly turning
towards the source, Chastity falters.

There, in the middle of the room, an old, yet remarkably
distinguished, man, seated behind a light wooden desk
covered in large piles of paper. A small torch is set into
the ground beside him.

OLD GHOST
(bringing out a clipboard)
Alright, I'm assuming that is your
natural hair color, correct?

Chastity simply nods.

OLD GHOST
Do you know your IQ?

Chastity slowly shakes her head.

OLD GHOST
No? Alright.  Um... Are you a
virgin.

Chastity simply stares at him.

OLD GHOST
I said, are you a-

CHASTITY
Uh... Umm... Well...

The old man raises an eyebrow.

CHASTITY
Well... I... umm...


OLD GHOST
I'll take that as a no.  What is
your relationship with the main
character?

CHASTITY
Who? Stacy?  I'm pretty much her
best friend.

OLD GHOST
Ah. Well in that case...

The old man stands, the desk and all the papers gone, and
rips off a piece of paper, handing it to Chastity.

CHASTITY
What is this?

OLD GHOST
A death certificate.  Just hand it
to the grotesque hatchet wielding
mad man when he floats through the
left wall.

CHASTITY
Uh... OK

INT. SCARY BUILDING

OUTSIDE THE GHOST'S LAIR

The camera focuses on the door, slowly zooming in in sudden
bursts.

CHASTITY O.S.
Oh, hello.

CHASTITY O.S.
I think I'm supposed to give you
this.

CHASTITY O.S.
What are you doing? No! No!

INT. SCARY BUILDING

Chastity's scream pierces through the darkness, stopping
Stacy dead in her tracks.

As she continues on, clutching the flashlight in her hands,
knuckles white.  A shadow zips past behind her, but trips,
falling out of site. 

Stacy looks behind her, sensing the disturbance, but seeing
nothing, continues on, as the shadow gets back up holding
its head.

A COUPLE SECOND LATER

Entering a small room, Stacy stops, spying a crouched figure
deeper in the room.  As she gets closer, the figure becomes
a teenage boy, staring back at her.  She gets closer drawn
by some unseen presence, her flashlight falling to her
side.  The boy also comes closer, reaching out to embrace
her.

STACY
Wait a second!

The entire production comes to a standstill.

STACY
David!

The camera turns to focus on the director, holding his
script.

DAVID
What?

STACY
Is this a Shining rip off?

DAVID
What do you mean?

STACY
I'm going to start making out with
this guy, and as soon as it starts
getting good, he's going to go all
creepy disgusting ghost on me. 
Isn't he?

DAVID
(slightly embarrassed)
No.

The director begins making alterations to his script.

STACY
Oh my god. That is so sad.

DAVID
Look, now the ghost just comes up
to you and stabs you in the
throat. 

STACY
Now there's no need to be hasty. I-

MAKE OUT GHOST
Wait, so there isn't a make out
scene anymore?

STACY
(in a disgusted voice)
No.

MAKE OUT GHOST
(turning towards the director)
I want my fifty bucks back.

STACY
What?!

DAVID
Uh... Uh... Lets cut to the chase
scene!

INT. SCARY BUILDING

Alex is running down a hallway, eyes bugged in fear.

Two ghosts are chasing him, a girl and a guy.

Soon however, Alex outpaces them.

Panting, the two stop to catch their breath.

GIRL GHOST
Geeze... Why can't we catch him?

BOY GHOST
He hasn't tripped once.

GIRL GHOST
Must be a guy thing.

GHOST'S LAIR

Hurrying into the room and slamming the door behind him,
Alex leans on the frame, trying to catch his breath.

Suddenly torchlight springs into existence.  Quickly, Alex
turns around, stunned by what he sees.

There, in the middle of the room, seated behind the same
desk, is the old man.

OLD GHOST
Is is true you don't believe in
ghosts?

ALEX
Uh... no.  I mean yes, I don't
believe in ghosts.

OLD GHOST
Ah, and, well, let's just get right
down to it.  What is your
relationship with the main
character?

ALEX
Who? Stacy?  I'm just her
boyfriend.

OLD GHOST
Excellent.

INT. SCARY BUILDING

Stacy struggling with her flashlight, hears Alex scream.

STACY
Well crap.

Hearing voices behind her, Stacy turns, staring at the two
ghosts coming towards her.

STACY
Double crap.

Turning, Stacy runs down the hallway, only to trip a few
seconds later.

Letting out a slight scream, Stacy continues to run, only to
once again trip.

STACY
Dammit!

She gets up, begins to run, then trips.

STACY
Dammit!

The cycle continues, the two ghosts drawing closer and
closer with each fall, until Stacy, once again face down on
the floor, looks up, noticing the menacing presence of the
old ghost.

Getting up, Stacy looks behind her, noting the absence of
the other two ghosts.

STACY
I take it you're the one who's
responsible for killing all my
friends?

OLD GHOST
Indeed.

STACY
Are you going to let me by?

OLD GHOST
Why would I do that?

STACY
Hello?  Main character!  I have to
live, otherwise they won't have a
good intro for the sequel.  I need
to struggle for a few years dealing
with my traumatic experience and
act all paranoid and stuff, so you
can come back and kill me. That
way, I don't stand in the way of
the new cast of sub-par actors
trying to start their career and
failing miserably.  I just thought
we could save ourselves some time. 
I wouldn't have to work up a sweat
running around, you wouldn't have
to die in some grisly manner,
everybody wins.

OLD GHOST
But, are you going to be
traumatized enough if I don't put
you in an inescapable position,
then hold back and let you escape
over and over again?

STACY
I think I can fake it.

OLD GHOST
Well, (extending his hand) I guess
I'll see you in a couple years
then.

STACY
Till then!